Does anyone find that they “forget” their previous moods until they happen again? When I’m down I believe I’ll never feel good again and when I’m up I can’t imagine what being down is like. Cognitively I know it will come around again, but my 
brain enters a different “state” and seems to almost forget the previous one.
The last few weeks I’ve been trying to dampen a hypomania using an anti-elatant, but I seem to either end up awake all night or molten with sleep in the morning and struggling to function. But today it switched to mixed state. I get a horrible heat at the back of my throat ….and nastiness leaks through my speech when I least expect it.
I spend all my time apologising for existing and being this person, which dejects me further.
I’m job hunting and I worry about how I’ll cope during these…
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Shouting into the silence 